Grin and bear it.
I was hoping that by going off of my meds I’d feel less…emotionally constipated? That I’d feel like giving a damn again. Part of my me plan was to write in this thing 3x per week and yet I honestly feel as if I have nothing to say/nothing going on…even though I simultaneously feel as if my mind is overflowing. I get so annoyed when I ask students, “how was school/what’d you learn,” only to receive a “fine” or shrugged shoulders. Yet, am I not doing the same thing?
And sometimes I do feel like caring/trying, I guess. But then I’m just paralyzed by my self-defeating thoughts of inadequacy (sidenote: You care too muuuuch….Observe & Report, anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)
I really had no intention for this journal to be so angsty. I feel like I’m 18 with none of the added benefits of a supercharged metabolism.
Sigh, (later) today is a new day and all that cliched jazz.